The fresh killer of london

i was a regular 13 year old in london. i had a strange experience. and no it was not a shotgun or rocket launcher. i once red this newspaper that said. OMINUS FRESH KILLER STILL FUNKY...
" 1 survivor of the fresh murders braveley said 'i was sitting on my computer playing bad rats like every gamer would when someonethrew a throne at my window and broke. he jumped in, he looked like will smith but MUCH SPOOKIER he had HYPER REALISTIC COOKIE DOUGH ON HIS FACE i thought to myself, that monster, he ate my entire cookie jar... he had a boombox with him, he turned it on (not in a sexual way) and funky beats started playing
he then procceded to tell me a story on how his life got flipped and/or turned upside down BUT IN A DEMUNIC VOYSE and his head started spinning like the exorsist or something then aperantly my dad busted in even though he was asleep and busted in and will smith ran away"
that was a realy long and boring newspaper excort that took up most of this speghatti. but i was also sitting on my computer and play on steam i play adventure capitalist cuz i bored was and then my pc shut down
i apperantly thought nothing of it and played buck bumble on my ps2 but the song said u r ded and satan. i also thought that was just a glitch cuz i was a dumbass. it then showed the face of the fresh killer of london dot dot dot and it was the back of my head on the screeni turned around and heard some funky beats... and it was THE SPOOPY KILLER i shit my pants and he procceded to tell me his story... AND THEN I WAS DED AND BECAME SKELETON ON GRAVE cuz aperantly when you die you instantly become a skelton and be in a grave AND THEN I WAS DANCING TO BEATS AND SPOOKED KIDS AND THEN ON MY RIBCAGE IT SAID U R NEKST U THE READER LOOK BEHIND YOU YOU BECAME SKELETON AND WROTE THIS
btw when u die the sega rally game over sound comes up